Birthdays and Planning for the Year Ahead

Passion Planner

Welp, today I’m another year older. I don’t mind getting older. So far, I’ve found a lot of the cliches to be true- I’m more self assured. I know myself better than ever. I’m less bothered by things I can’t control. In the “owning who I am, accepting the things I cannot change” aspects, I’ve certainly made progress. In other “make a plan of things to grow your life” ways- not so much. Each year, I think about the things I’d like to accomplish before the next birthday, and looking back over the last several birthdays, turns out I’m TERRIBLE at executing those wish list items. In fact, I’m pretty sure everything on my list from last year is still on the docket for this year. I don’t know whether I should be impressed with my inertia, or if I should be deeply ashamed that time is passing me by so quickly with little to nothing to show for it but an unfulfilled wish list. This year, I’m determined to move on some of these items that have lingered- some for years- and I’m writing about it on the internet as a way to attempt some accountability.

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My Internet Presence

I delayed starting a blog for a long time. It’s something I’ve thought about and daydreamed about, but I struggled with the idea of putting myself out on the internet.  The reality is, I’m a completely average, plus-size, 32 year old. Depending on the reader, that’s either a lot of reasons to start a blog, or a lot of reasons to run like hell away from the internet. I think I’ve spent much of my life waiting until I felt exceptional at something before taking action. I’ve never really felt exceptional at anything other than giving unsolicited life advice to anyone unfortunate enough to be in my vicinity, so the idea that I could put my face and my interests on the internet boggled my mind. I’m 5 solid months into the process and so far, I’m loving it. The ten or so people that read have been absolutely complimentary (and see, I’m even capable of attempting to solicit some lolz).

I think I’m here now because I know who I am. I know my strengths and weaknesses, and there isn’t a whole lot to lose by sharing. People don’t like it? So what. People don’t read it (except my mom) Nothing lost. I’m still me. I don’t have any regrets (except maybe my previous use of lolz) but I know I’d regret not putting myself out there when I had the chance.

It helps that 2014 was a banner year for women like me and 2015 is off the charts so far. I saw more plus-size fashion icons emerge. I followed more blogs and channels that are led by completely ordinary women that are incredibly INTERESTING and AMAZING for no other reason than they share their passion in a compelling way. It’s empowering and it makes me feel like maybe my little slice of the world isn’t as invisible as I’d previously thought.

So. Here I am. I’ll probably write more, in addition to posting makeupy things because it’s cathartic, and I want to, which is reason enough for me.

I hope that if you are waiting until you feel exceptional to pursue something you want, you quit waiting and take action immediately. The one ‘life truth’ that has proven absolutely true in my case, is that I’m much more happier and confident in my 30’s. I’m wise enough now to know there are certain things about myself that will never change, and the sooner I let go of what cannot be, the happier I will be. The other truth is that there is no right time for anything. There is only now. I’m putting myself out there. Join me, won’t you?

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